Garret wasn’t what Susan expected. I could tell by the no-nonsense way she introduced herself that she feared he would be a spoiled brat. All the new nannies from the agency were the same. They start out a bit Mary Poppins assuming that the three-year-old son of a world-famous actress must be a little monster. Of course, he is a little monster, but they underestimate his acting abilities. I’ve seen it again and again. He clutched me, his supposedly beloved teddy bear, and looked at Susan with wide doe-like eyes. He allowed a single tear to overflow and track down his smooth, soft cheek.
“I want my Mummy,” he said.
I could see Susan’s heart melt, and the strict Nanny like figure was gone. She was a total pushover, and I saw that any hope for protection from her would be in vain.
“Poor baby,” she said. “Let’s make cookies.”
“Yaaaay,” shouted Garrett and tossed me onto the floor where I landed painfully on my nose. He stepped on me as he ran into the kitchen grasping Susan’s hand. Seriously, this girl didn’t have a clue. Garret plus cookie dough equalled total disaster. “It was going to end in tears,” I thought from my undignified position on the floor.
One hour later and Garrett stomped back into the bedroom. He kicked me into the air and shouted. “Stupid Teddy,” leapt onto his bed, lay on his stomach and started sobbing loudly.
Susan followed him in and sighed in an exaggerated fashion. She didn’t have a clue what to do until she spotted me sprawled on the bookshelf.
“Poor Teddy,” she said in a patronising fashion.
“Don’t bring me back into this,” I thought. “You made your bed.”
The problem is, being a teddy bear, I don’t have much self-determination. She was bringing me into her mess whether I wanted it or not.
“He wants a hug,” she said.
“No. I blooming don’t.” I thought.
“I don’t like Teddy,” said the charming Garrett, and the feeling was entirely mutual.
“You’ll make him cry,” said Susan. There was every chance he would make me cry, but not by ignoring me.
She picked me up, held me out, wiggled me from side to side and said in a gruff voice. “Please Garrett, I want a hug.” Evidently, that’s how she thought a teddy would speak. Idiot.
She walked towards him and thrust me into his face. He didn’t have the wide eyes of a Disney cartoon character now. He looked at me through narrow, calculating slits and breathed in that loud, snotty, way that he did after crying. This was the point where things could go either way. Given the autonomy, I would hide it out until it was clear that it was nap time. Then, if only I were able, I might hop over for a cuddle.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t napping time, and he took a swipe at my face before launching into another impressive crying fit. It was humiliating to be rejected like this, and I blamed the gormless Susan for setting me up for it. She let me go, and I fell onto the bed and watched her as she tried to think. She wasn’t very bright, so the effort brought a frown to her face, and she stuck her tongue out like a young child learning to write. I was relieved for her when, after what seemed like an eternity, the concentration left her face, and she smiled. My relief was short lived as, after rummaging in her backpack, she brought out a blue, stuffed, bunny rabbit. He was about the same size as me but his fur was luxurious, and he had great floppy ears. I started to panic. How could I compete with him?
Susan put on a cute, high-pitched voice for the Bunny. “Hey, Garret. I can be your new best friend.” This was madness. I was Garret’s best friend. I’d been there from the start. Let’s face it, where was the bunny when he was teething, and don’t even talk to me about the toilet training.
“Bunny is rubbish,” said Garret with a loud sniff.
“Too right,” I thought.
“I want Teddy.” He held me close.
Susan and the bunny left the room, and Garret and I had the best nap ever.